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Christian Counseling - "No matter where you go, there you are."

You cannot escape yourself. Sounds like a great tagline for a movie. If it were only fiction. The reality is that, try as we might, we cannot escape our struggles. We may fantasize about doing so. Fantasies may turn to actions like changing jobs, moving, having an affair. In the end, we typically have added more problems than we've solved.

A student living in New Jersey once told me that she was applying to colleges in California and Washington. To this information I replied, "So, you are trying to get as far away from your parents as possible while remaining in the contiguous United States." It was true. This student had a very difficult life at home and harbored fantasies of escaping. Who could blame her? However, upon further reflection, she came to realize that although home was difficult, she had friends, other family, and a church in New Jersey that held a strong connection for her. Leaving New Jersey would mean leaving everything behind, not just her parents.

Often, like the woman above, we are moving to try to escape negative relationships in life. Although this sometimes can be effective, it would not always be recommended. However, many times we are trying to escape ourselves. This is a tall order. If the problems we experience are internal rather than external, running from them will not work because we cannot run from ourselves. We need to face problems head on in our lives. Much like a boxer in the ring, we cannot turn our backs on our opponent, lest we render ourselves defenseless. If you are dealing with problems in life that you cannot seem to overcome, it may be time for you to get some help. This help can come in many forms, and I will discuss over the next several posts what that help can look like. If you have overcome difficult issues in your life, I would welcome comments as to what worked for you.

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