Christian Counseling: Joyful Sex?

Is sex joyful to you? Is it supposed to be? Maybe you're saying, "I don't care. I don't like it" and have resigned yourself to living without it, except for those occasional times your spouse must indulge himself or herself. After which you can tuck it away for another month or twelve.


Some give up on sex because it is too frustrating, painful, joyless, fearful, disgusting, guilt-ridden, intimate, or causes one to feel too vulnerable. It can be just too much trouble to hang in there to rebuild trust or maintain a sense of hope having being violated by sexual abuse or a wayward spouse. Some people use anger or permit fear to distance them from sex and possible resolution. For those seeking resolution, it is often especially difficult to accomplish it by oneself. Others with expertise can help.


What is God's attitude toward sex? Is it for procreation only, for recreation, for love and connection? Why did God make sex organs? Why didn't He make procreation possible by kissing or by ingesting a substance? He could have! What is His will for all humans regarding sex in a marriage? Is it ever okay for one person or for a couple to say I am not or we aren't doing it anymore?  It is likely harder for some to once again say, "I don't care. I don't like it" because these questions moved sex beyond just a personal, physical or marital issue to a spiritual issue. I am not going to answer these questions in this blog, but I encourage you to search out the answers to these critical questions. Don't settle for quick answers or give up your search because it is hard. Be resolute in finding complete answers, as best you can. God wants you to know the answer to every question posed here.


How important is the continuation of mutually satisfying sex between married couples? What are the many positive and negative consequences of a healthy or unhealthy sexual relationship, respectively? Again, I urge you to get involved by answering these sexual questions. Further, I imagine you can come up with three or four more questions that are important to you. 


If you experience some sexual conflict, but dismiss the quest for answers, at least be aware why you are doing so. I believe God has somethings He wants you to know about yourself and about sex.


Everyone knows that experienced counselors can often be of help to individuals and couples in resolving sexual conflicts. Help is available for those who care about themselves, personal growth, their partner and marriage and learning to enjoy sex. If you have had difficulty with a particular sexual issue for more than six months with little to no progress, it would be worthwhile to seek help.



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