Christian Counseling: Living God's Future or Yours?


THE DOCTOR IS IN:



QUESTION: Should I continue with the relationship or let it go?



I've been dating with this guy for over 9 years now. I met him in senior high school. For the past 7 or 8 months I have been in deep growth to be closer to God and I am committed to be devoted to God.


Sadly, we have sinned in having sex before marriage. It is our first for the both of us. I have asked him to stop doing this but it failed and it got me into thinking that perhaps it is God's plan to help him be closer to God and be saved. The parents are Christians, but it has been difficult to ask him to go to church with me. According to him he is not ready yet to commit to the life of being Christian and be baptized.


What should I do? I love him a lot and would be more than happy to "guide" him a little to be closer to God for his own sake. We're not planning to get married in another 2 more years. Should I wait and see how the development on his relationship with God or make a decision now?


I know we're not to be in a relationship with an unbeliever, but getting rid of him will have a huge impact on his life too. It will leave a scar as we have had sexual relationship. I'm afraid in the future it will affect our spouses as well.


He is a good person, but for now I do not feel free or comfortable enough sharing with him about spiritual stuff.


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RESPONSE:

I ADMIRE YOUR DESIRE TO LIVE A COMMITED CHRISTIAN LIFE. IT IS THE BEST LIFE ONE CAN HAVE IN THIS WORLD.



IN THINKING ABOUT THAT, I WONDER WHY YOU BEGAN LIVING THIS NEW LIFE SEVEN OR EIGHT MONTHS AGO. IS IT BECAUSE YOU SENSE SOMETHING MISSING IN YOUR LIFE, OR THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND MAY NOT WORK OUT OR FEEL GUILTY ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP AND HE NOT BEING A CHRISTIAN?



I CONCUR WITH YOUR BELIEFS THAT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE AND GETTING EMOTIONALLY OR ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH A PERSON WHO IS NOT A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST IS NOT FITTING OF AND INCONGRUENT WITH ONE WANTING TO BE SOLD OUT TO GOD. ALSO, GOD IS NOT GOING TO USE YOUR SEXUAL ACTIVITY TO HELP YOUR BOYFRIEND GROW CLOSER TO GOD AND SAVED. IF ANYTHING, IT WILL KEEP HIM AND YOU AT A DISTANCE WITH GOD. CONSIDER MODELING THE CHRISTIAN LIFE AND LEAVE THE OUTCOME TO GOD.



IN PART, LIVING OUT THE CHRISTIAN LIFE MEANS BEING BOLD (GREEK, TO BE COMPLETELY OUT-SPOKEN). TELLING HIM WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND LETTING HIM IN ON YOUR OWN UNIQUE STORY IS IMPORTANT NOT ONLY FOR HIM, BUT FOR YOU. SCRIPTURALLY, BOLDNESS IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR FEAR. TAKE COURAGE AND SAY WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART, AND LIVE BY YOUR INFORMED CONSCIENCE.



I AM CONVINCED YOU KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG, BUT YOU FEAR DOING THE RIGHT THING LIKELY BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU MAY LOSE. YOU PROBABLY KNOW YOUR LIFE IS NOT YOUR OWN, BUT HIS. LET HIM HAVE IT, FULLY, AND GOD WILL DIRECT THE YEARS AHEAD. IN THAT YOU CAN TRUST AND DEPEND, EVEN THOUGH PAIN WILL MOST ASSUREDLY BE PART OF YOUR EXPERIENCE AS YOU SEEK TO CORRECT THE PROBLEMS YOU NOW ENCOUNTER. ALONG WITH THAT THOUGHT CONSIDER THESE WORDS, “‘Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right’” (1 Pet. 4:19).



GOD’S FUTURE OR YOURS? THAT IS YOUR POINT OF DECISION.

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