Christian Counseling: Overcoming Rejection and Poor Self-esteem

Question:



How can I get over the spirit of rejection? The feeling of never feeling like I am good enough. Its been a long journey and I constantly feel less than in my personal and professional life.




Response:



No matter how much a person tries to tickle the ears of another or to please them, it is or they are rarely good enough because the eyes of people are never satisfied, as Proverbs tells us, they almost always want more. It is a false belief that holds if one is good enough or does everything perfectly that he or she will be able to avoid rejection and the subsequent grief, disappointment anger and fear of it. The proof is in the life of Jesus who was perfect, but also hated and rejected by many, plotted against and killed. 


One's safety and security does not rest in perfection, avoidance of conflict and/or the needed acceptance of others. It lies in knowing we all can develop the ability to face (even with some fear) criticism, attacks, rejection and the like and be okay.


Another critical point is frequently when a person feels he or she doesn't measure up to others and feels "less than" others it is the result of previous traumatic experiences, such as with school peers and one's family of origin, or, at least, not having the necessary family support to help endure life's hardships. Add to that the subsequent, common and often unrelenting self-doubting and self-criticism and recovery from low esteem and a negative image is unlikely to ever happen. The sin nature in each of us is an internal saboteur who verbally abuses us. In essence, we sin against ourselves by disdainful accusations, similar to what the devil does. Instead, what we all need is to be nurtured, especially by ourselves.


Recovery from poor self-esteem and poor self-image is a long-haul, but achievable. It is only changed in the context of relationships where one cultivates a small team of two to four others who can be supportive and encouraging, while meeting everyday conflict and learning to overcome fear and developing the know how to manage one's feelings and thoughts, as well as how to approach difficult people and troubling situations with sure confidence and a plan. Again, a lot to learn, but without a firm commitment to walking this new and sometimes scary path one can only be assured of more misery.    


Pursuing counseling is also an option, for it is in the safe and trusting alliance between counselor and client that new ways of relating, feeling and thinking can be created. That valuable learning is then taken into living everyday life with success.

 




1 comment (Add your own)

1. blessed1 wrote:
Seek the Lord who tenderly loves you and hears your every prayer...He is with you..He will lead you...You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you....pray and fast for such a time as this...i will be praying for you : ) !!

06/23/2012 @ 9:13 AM

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