Some decisions are not easy. Even if you know what your answer should be, your emotions may say something different. It can be confusing. Here are some of the important and reasonable questions that people often ask, accompanied by our brief response. It is our hope this will help you in your decision process.
Looking to others for help does not mean you lack faith in God. On the contrary, God gives gifts, such as encouragement to Christian men and women "for the common good (1Co. 12:7)." Through these gifts, people impart God's grace to one another (IPe. 4:10). Finding God in others, such as Christian counselors, is His desire and design.
Everyone attempts, often with some success, to self-manage his or her problems. However, there are some problems that no one is able to manage on his or her own. One reason is that in a crisis situation our emotions can feel overwhelming, which result in a loss of objectivity. A second reason is that, at times, you need another's help, because you have defense mechanisms that blind you to truths about yourself and the world around you. As Psalm 19:12 says, "Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden (even from self) faults." Others can see things about us, when we fail to perceive them. A general rule of thumb is that, if you are in a severe crisis period or have been struggling with the same individual or relational problem for more than six months, seek professional help.
Counseling is not just for the "severely-troubled" person, couple, or family. It is also for the relatively healthy person, who is going through problems that are commonly experienced by others. In fact, many clients who come to see us are fairly healthy people, who request help with problems like lack of direction in life, limited self-understanding, relational problems, feeling overstressed, out of control and disconnected from God.
Most likely, you have heard good and bad reports about the effects of counseling. Of course this good/bad assessment is par for any person or object in life. Even God is not without those who find fault with Him. The answer to the question about whether counseling is helpful or harmful is that it can be either or both. The field of counseling is an imperfect resource, which is created and conducted by imperfect people. But imperfection is also found in the English language, medical science, education, business, ministry, and even theology (a man-made discipline). This is not to excuse counseling professionals from responsibility, but to put our faults and errors into a global perspective.
Research on the outcome of counseling has been conducted for a few decades. Here are some of the highlights about positive treatment effects. One highly regarded study indicated that at the end of treatment, the average client "is better off than 80 percent of those who need therapy but remain untreated," (Smith, Glass, and Miller, 1980, The Benefits of Psychotherapy, pg. 124). Also, Lipsey and Wilson (1993), in their research article in The American Psychologist entitled, "The Efficacy of psychological, educational, and behavioral treatment: Confirmation from meta-analyses," stated that "psychological treatments are as beneficial or more so than medical and educational help."
Making the decision to enter counseling is very important, because of its great potential to help bring about life-altering change. Before deciding, we suggest you discuss this with several people, such as your family, a friend, pastor, physician and God. You can also meet with one of our counselors or make a single counseling appointment, which will give you additional information that can help you make your choice.
If people who know you suggest counseling would be of help, but your head or heart says no, be sure you understand why there is a difference and seek harmony between the views of yourself and others before you make a decision. Sometimes the last one to know that he or she needs counseling is the potential client. Also, if your head says one thing and your heart says another, seek understanding about why you are divided about entering counseling before you make a final decision. In the end, take faith in believing that, "from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue (Pro. 16:1)."
